The important thing to understand
are the ways in which people together follow grammars, and how their own social worlds are created through this following.
Most forms of conflict are played out within some frame, a grammar that provides options and moves from which to choose. Following this path is fraught with complications.

One person’s moves are always governed by the grammatical rules that they’re governed by. But these moves only make sense, can only make sense, when the contingent responses of the other are created by and governed by the same grammar.
-- W. Barnett Pearce